protectiveness is damage control

Podcast summaries

• Keywords - cooperation & defection aren't as obvious as they might seem (they depend on frame) IFS collective agency untangle self-authoring social technology is more of a bottleneck than material technology intentionality everyone is always doing whatever makes the most sense to them partswork Coherence Therapy everything makes sense Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings self-trust comes from respecting distrust Learning how to trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too safety psychological safety Alfie Kohn punishment is goodharting waiting to happen protectiveness is damage control deliberate "negative reinforcement" is punishment even if you don't call it that intrinsic motivation adulthood An Everyone Culture in general, people don't not-care. they care about many things and don't know how to care for all of them together (PCT) reward is just the temporary relief of punishment scarcity much of human collaboration scales sublinearly but it's possible to scale superlinearly what is culture? how do we make groups with the union of their individual wisdoms rather than the intersection of their individual wisdoms? list of common schemas learned in school School is fake averagerianism post-average

• Keywords: NNTD, Home, everyone will constantly point out ways in which things are incomplete, Learning how to trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too, community, what might a healthy community look like?, complaints are sacred: how we affirm our values, protectiveness is damage control, defensiveness = protectiveness, Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings, sometimes things need to be said even though they feel like they really really should go without saying, What is Blame?, everything makes sense, there's no way to communicate correctly or incorrectly - there's just what works in context and what doesn't work, apologize in the other person's frame; forgive in your own frame, power dynamics

• 11:58 - 20:10 - Why isn't society producing enough high-agency individuals? safety psychological safety Alfie Kohn punishment is goodharting waiting to happen protectiveness is damage control deliberate "negative reinforcement" is punishment even if you don't call it that intrinsic motivation

• 24:11 - 25:18 - Complaining everyone will constantly point out ways in which things are incomplete, complaints are sacred: how we affirm our values, protectiveness is damage control, defensiveness = protectiveness
  • M > It's like, take complaining, for instance. It's broadly considered among, even pretty mainstream circles, that complaining is not good - don't do it. You know, there's this big movement of like, 'a complaint free world' and so on. And they're really onto something because you can't build things out of complaints directly - they're really, really awful as building blocks. But underneath every complaint is something sacred that has been violated, and if you can get in touch with that then it's like, "Okay, there's something really important that needs honoring there." And so, if you can recognize that under every cynicism is a passion to avoid being duped. And you can say, "Well, yeah, I really don't want to be duped." And I want to feel excited. Can I have both of those? Yeah. This this constant, "both-and"ing basically,

thinking that rejects other thinking

• (oh shit, damn, they hit protectiveness is damage control)

July 2nd, 2021

• for reference, discussion of defensiveness = protectiveness / protectiveness is damage control here:
  • facebook.com/duncan.sabien/posts/4479106685457347
  • also this thread:
    • twitter.com/Malcolm_Ocean/status/1411085600086581255

core principles of the NNTD

• protectiveness is damage control

Sequence on NNTD

• protectiveness is damage control / defensiveness = protectiveness
  • ~elaborating on the "A is trying to fuck you up" tweet

May 14th, 2021

• protectiveness is damage control