what might a healthy community look like?

Podcast summaries

• 0:00:34 - 12:55 - Home, what might a healthy community look like?
  • 0:00:34 - J invites M to share “any kind of song that is inside of your heart if there's one that is desired to be shared right now”. This leads to M sharing this song:
    • • Malcolm Ocean 0:50
        • Superorganism song ♫ part 1
          • Verse 1;
          • I am whole
          • I am parts in interaction;
          • On a certain level of abstraction;
          • We call this soul; We call this a soul;
          • I am whole
          • I am parts interrelating;
          • All of these parts coordinating;
          • None quite in control; None quite in control.
          • Bridge
          • So then naturally;
          • I experience myself to be;
          • A unit of being within a name and an identity.
          • Chorus
          • I am whole [beatboxes];
          • I am whole [beatboxes];
          • I am whole
          • Verse 2 (Rap verse)
          • Still I think there's a bigger thing that you and I could be being;
          • Let me let you into the vision that I am seeing;
          • Open up a higher bandwidth ch-channel between our minds;
          • And be the kind of thing that we can be when we're combined;
          • Stop thinking of me and you as one and two, discrete, apart;
          • Start consciously selfing as an unselfconscious work of art;
          • Build information flows to scaffold our collective brain;
          • Because without adequate feedback, any system goes insane;
          • And we want to be sane.
  • 6:18 - M > And one of the things that's become a sort of phrase that I say to people lately is, "I'm building a utopia, I need your help. The only rule is, we're not done till everyone says we're done." And that, to me, captures something about the essence of home. It's like home is a place where if something's not as you want it to be, then you get to change it.
  • 6:52 - M > But of course, like, okay, if you and me are sharing a home and something is how you want it to be, but it's not how I want it to be, then, well, is it home? And how is it home? And, you know, how do we make it our home as a multi person system if it's just the two of us sharing that space? And when I say home here, I could mean literally sharing a physical dwelling. But there's also a sense in which offices can feel like, like home, or they can feel like not home, right? Or a virtual context? [On] a Slack workspace? [In] Slack, the basic thing of allowing people to add their own custom emojis, I think, does a tremendous amount to make slack workspaces feel like home, because people can change them and create their own basic concepts of feelings and so on.
  • 9:20 - 12:54 - What it would look like if I built my own community, using Euvie Ivanova and Mike Gilliland's Smart Village as reference.
    • compromise is not what everyone wants post-compromise

• Keywords - brain hemispheres coercion what is coercion? productivity scapegoat Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings everyone is constantly overgeneralizing Conversation As Medium make shared or different frames explicit shared train of thought do people naturally self-regulate how deep they're willing to go? commitment/choice is a confused way to relate to stances/mindsets dream mashups Unlocking the Emotional Brain IFS partswork what might a healthy community look like? doing community well The Master and his Emissary intro left hemisphere right hemisphere Behavior: The Control of Perception Perceptual Control Theory Hemisphere DharmaChange doesn't just happenHemispheres & Self-improvement left hemispheres aren't made for interfacing with other people Perceptual Control Theory control systems

• Keywords: NNTD, Home, everyone will constantly point out ways in which things are incomplete, Learning how to trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too, community, what might a healthy community look like?, complaints are sacred: how we affirm our values, protectiveness is damage control, defensiveness = protectiveness, Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings, sometimes things need to be said even though they feel like they really really should go without saying, What is Blame?, everything makes sense, there's no way to communicate correctly or incorrectly - there's just what works in context and what doesn't work, apologize in the other person's frame; forgive in your own frame, power dynamics

• 16:38 - 23:51 - Trust Learning how to trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too and its role in creating a healthy community, what might a healthy community look like?
  • 20:07 - M > And so there's this funny thing where -and I've noticed this more and more as I get into conversations, like the ones I imagine you have with many people on your podcast- one of the things I've noticed is that everybody's been burned in different ways and so their next project is mostly aimed at preventing that from happening again. And, sometimes, this is like a real big explosion burn. Other times, it's just more like, "Oh, I tried to do a thing in the corporate world and there was just a limitation; we could we could only get so far because we ran up against the, 'Well, the company's got to make money, and we can't do this social thing.'" And so then you encounter that kind of limitation, so you're [like], "Oh, I'll strike out on my own. I'll do my own thing." But then, other people have encountered the limits of "Oh, we were just going meta all the time - we never got anything done." And meanwhile, in other groups, it's like, "Oh, we kept just barging ahead and doing things that didn't make sense, because we couldn't stop to have conversations." So there's all these different ways that people compensate for how things have failed in the past, and in bringing any group together, you can find a group of people who've all been burned in similar ways and start a new thing, where you're all like, "Yeah, we're not going to do it in that way that we all messed up before." But then that group is probably going to be naive to some of the very things that have burned other groups. So the question is, if you can get a bunch of people who all have their own different experiences of something not working and then you can actually synthesize the collective sense of like, "Well, we can't do it that way because it'll fail like it did for Bob, and we can't do it that way because it'll fail like we did for Kathleen," and, you know, for a dozen other people, can you find a thing that actually feels non naive to everybody?

• 47:54 - 56:29 - What if gossip were good? what might a healthy community look like? doing community well blindspot feedback is hard (but possible!)

September 6th, 2021

• impressively relevant to both fractal Home (quite literally) and also to what might a healthy community look like? in the physical sense (lots of cool related links in the thread)
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    • twitter.com/metaphorician/status/1434624310333878276

Home

• see also what might a healthy community look like?

Malcolm podcast appearances

• talks about NNTD obviously, and about community & what might a healthy community look like?