IFS
6 linked references
June 19th, 2025
- in some sense, often a part really needs to be heard by the Self, but interpersonal conflict, sometimes it matters to someone to be heard by the other person... how do you see the relationship between those? if the one isn't always a substitute for the other?
- (huh, of course my hear yourself first move in 3 steps to empowered dialogue is absolutely related to this)
- you've mentioned that it's fractal—parts can have Selves, especially in folks with DID. presumably that extends upwards as well... so what do you see as Self on the group level? are you familiar with We-space practices like Circling?
- obviously there are complex family dynamics with entrenched longstanding patterns like you see in IFS, but what about in new groups of people?
- like there's an analogy made between parent-child and Self-part relationships, but obviously a group can be made of all adults or whatever
- (and sometimes probably an adult gets into Self to relate to their own parent who is in a traumatized part-blended state)
- applying the fractal up further, what do you feel you understand from your experience with IFS, about what's possible with large-scale governance or politics, that most people don't see? if you could convey one key idea to politicians or voters, what would it be? or if you could make one change to some law about how government operates?
- (tried having Claude generate a simulated interview about this, but it feels to me it slightly misses the point)
partswork doesn't require reifying or naming parts
- In IFS/Internal Family Systems, the parts are given names and seem to have fairly stable identities at least until some transformation occurs.
Podcast summaries
- Keywords - cooperation & defection aren't as obvious as they might seem (they depend on frame) IFS collective agency untangle self-authoring social technology is more of a bottleneck than material technology intentionality everyone is always doing whatever makes the most sense to them partswork Coherence Therapy everything makes sense Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings self-trust comes from respecting distrust Learning how to trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too safety psychological safety Alfie Kohn punishment is goodharting waiting to happen protectiveness is damage control deliberate "negative reinforcement" is punishment even if you don't call it that intrinsic motivation adulthood An Everyone Culture in general, people don't not-care. they care about many things and don't know how to care for all of them together (PCT) reward is just the temporary relief of punishment scarcity much of human collaboration scales sublinearly but it's possible to scale superlinearly what is culture? how do we make groups with the union of their individual wisdoms rather than the intersection of their individual wisdoms? list of common schemas learned in school School is fake averagerianism post-average
- Keywords - brain hemispheres coercion what is coercion? productivity scapegoat Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings everyone is constantly overgeneralizing Conversation As Medium make shared or different frames explicit shared train of thought do people naturally self-regulate how deep they're willing to go? commitment/choice is a confused way to relate to stances/mindsets dream mashups Unlocking the Emotional Brain IFS partswork what might a healthy community look like? doing community well The Master and his Emissary intro left hemisphere right hemisphere Behavior: The Control of Perception Perceptual Control Theory Hemisphere DharmaChange doesn't just happenHemispheres & Self-improvement left hemispheres aren't made for interfacing with other people Perceptual Control Theory control systems
- 1:11 - 6:44 - How do you maximize agency in your life and the lives of your loved ones? What is agency? cooperation & defection aren't as obvious as they might seem (they depend on frame) IFS collective agency untangle social technology is more of a bottleneck than material technology adulthood land value tax two people adjusting behavior based on each other leading to multiple stable attractors doing community well list of common schemas learned in school
- 40:59 - 47:40 - Why we can't change our minds Unlocking the Emotional Brain IFS partswork Coherence Therapy inner conflict