dream mashups

created 2020-12-18 · edited 2020-12-18 · open in Roam

see Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings

23 linked references

my threads on twitter, as indexed by Riccardo Volpato mid2021

Threads by category › Everything is intertwined

1. dream mashups
- twitter.com/Malcolm_Ocean/status/1410155043760730114

August 19th, 2023

all perception is in some sense projection

this is a thing I've said, cf dream mashups

everything makes sense

That's not to say all interpretations are "appropriate" t…

Note that some interpersonal triggers activate in moments that in some sense are inappropriate but the behavioral response within the dream mashups world change the scene such that it makes the interpretation appropriate.
- This phenomenon can make it really hard to figure out what's going on and find other workable interpretations!

dream mashups
- R > crazy wisdom

October 4th, 2021

illustration re masks dream mashups emotions emotional flashback

NNTD pith instructions discussion

discussion ensued! (M is me) › M > a few pieces, here: › 1. if you can stay really grounded in the ways in which y… › M > yup, totally

cf dream mashups

thinking that rejects other thinking

Why am I feeling good about what I wrote, at the top? › However, it's not just others' distinctions that get used…

Huh! dream mashups are kind of this!

July 30th, 2021

dream mashups salon w visakanv
- link to 2019 yearly review in dream mashups post
- "what brought you to the salon?"
- dreams are your mind making sense of stuff, trying to integrate & combine experiences
  - so if you eg dream someone forgives you or apologizes, who hasn't
    - that's your mind simulating whether/how such a thing could happen, in some sense
- V > the more we make it aspirational for people to live up to being this kind of adult, taking responsibility for accommodating other people, the more people will step into it
- case studies etc
  - response-ability to be noticeably different from your mother
    - there's a piece here of like: don't introject others projections into yourself
      - that wouldn't work anyway since you don't actually have the original data they're using in the first place
  - various people describing environmental stimuli
    - Visa's "sunset boi"
    - Luke's childhood home experiences
  - intergenerational stuff
    - visa has a thread
  - "history is a series of dream mashups"
- "people projecting school tests onto dates & job interviews"
  - relates to school creates a false dichotomy between learning-feedback and performance-feedback
    - dates & job interviews end up lacking in useful feedback
    - V > stopgap
      - Orwell: "every book is a failure"
      - da Vinci: "art is never finished, only abandoned"
      - imagine the first day of school, principal is like "we don't really know what we're doing"
      - "you could be the best candidate and I could get it wrong"
      - M > "democracy"
        wd > I like the vTaiwan project. Not aware of anything else working hard on rethinking how it’s structured
- V > you can make more difference in the world than you think
  - but it requires getting outside of the childhood belief that people won't listen to you
  - need to speak your words as though they have impact
  - authorities have filters that keep noise out
    - but you can study/model those filters and learn to get around them
- dream mashups apply to people reinforcing the constraints that were enforced on them, contextually
  - "twitter is a place where people dunk"

#blogpost pipeline

published

dream mashups

May 23rd, 2021

Okay, I'm trying to figure out what next blogpost showtim…

at least some a lot of the other posts would want to reference the dream mashups one
- eg Instead of "X is Y", say "I can't tell the difference between X & Y"
- I think the validity of projection - it's not about you but it's not not about you is a pretty core one that wants to be written before dream mashups
- I could try making a diagram of all of these... hm
- am I ready to write up the validity of projection - it's not about you but it's not not about you?
- I think I want to post something I've already tweeted
- I don't have a list of threads anywhere, hm
- ahh I have a blindspot feedback is hard (but possible!) thread that could become a #blogpost
  - twitter.com/Malcolm_Ocean/status/1391959685851324421
  - oh, it references collective blindspots, which probably should have a page - collective blindspots naturally occur in groups
    - / every entity has a blindspot at all fractal scales

Sequence on NNTD

topics — I want an auto-generated N/M progress bar here › the validity of projection - it's not about you but it's …

for now the dream mashups post functions as an okay intro to this

topics — I want an auto-generated N/M progress bar here

dream mashups - Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings
- hmm re-reading this a bit, as potential excellent candidate for first blogpost showtime, and I'm noticing sort of a few other points that feel like prereqs
- one is everything makes sense, to avoid invalidating of stuff as "just dream mashups"
- another is Instead of "X is Y", say "I can't tell the difference between X & Y", as a way to usefully engage with this bit, from either direction
  - When people experience this and it’s accompanied by major discomfort, they try to have the entirety of their experience validated by the person they’re experiencing it with, or someone else. However, because half of what’s happening—and possibly more than half of the meaning experienced by the dreamer—isn’t actually part of the scene as experienced by the other person, it’s hard for them to really validate it, especially when this involves taking responsibility for something they don’t experience any response-ability in relation to.
    - this is where it's key to have the validity of projection - it's not about you but it's not not about you
  - right, see, the validation is really important
    - “Over the course of therapy, I often reframe flashbacks as messages from the wounded inner child about the denied or minimized traumas of childhood. In this vein I paint flashbacks as the inner child righteously clamoring for validation of past parental abuse and neglect.”
    - and it's vital for untangling interpersonal stuff to have people taking a stance of validation towards each other, even when they don't know how to validate some specific content coming up, which this current write-up doesn't understand
      - it was written by a me who didn't understand this!
- include stuff about childhood from Watched Visa's vid about this and had some thoughts
- Watched Visa's vid about this and had some thoughts
  - main thing is that it's really useful how he references the foundationalness of childhood
    - Yeah, super key piece about how your oldest—most foundational—memories are from when you were young & powerless & overwhelmed by everything.
    - And even if your childhood is pretty good, there's still a lot of meanings that can get stuck there.
    - Also yeah, frames you get from your parents, or your culture. Basic frames of reference that you then use to make sense of all of your experience.
  - in the same way that your dreams are often a mashup of the specific things that have happened to you, and when you go to a new place you start having dreams about that, so too are your emotional flashbacks related to your experiences
  - and as you have more experiences that build on those original meanings, they get layered even deeper

April 7th, 2021

dream mashups - relevant visa vid
- twitter.com/visakanv/status/1376982745956589570

March 25th, 2021

great thread discussing language for talking about the dream mashups thing
- twitter.com/quotidiania/status/1373777639996030976

March 9th, 2021

Gary Klein's book Sources of Power, re decision-making › connects to both to brain hemispheres / McGilchrist's bra…

it basically describes the functional application of the very same rapid-response brain systems that cause trauma flashbacks / dream mashups

December 18th, 2020

dream mashups

August 7th, 2020

Wanted to jot down something I noticed about how this relates to the dream mashups thing / Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings
- I used to think that it was kind of the person having the nightmare's job to recognize that and pull themselves out.
- And I'm now seeing ways in which structurally it works a lot better if the people triggering the nightmare are able to orient to it like
  - okay, this person currently can't trust that I won't behave in some way that hurt them in the past
  - and I want to respect that reality
    - and explore how I might communicate that I won't, inasmuch as that is what's so
    - as well as explore how it might also be so that I will behave in such a way
      - noting that that doesn't mean that behaving in such a way is wrong
      - and it might also be the case that many other people wouldn't be hurt by such behavior, or that I might think it makes sense for me to continue doing that behavior and find another level of abstraction to get samesided with this person on
        which might involve them doing emotional reconsolidation on their response to the behavior
        or might involve us acknowledging together that
        I don't have another move I feel makes sense for me to make
        that their experience of distrust/activation/whatever in response to my behavior is ok
        and doesn't mean either of us is wrong
        etc etc
    - it also might be the case that I would not in any of my other relationships behave in such a way, but in the context of trying to relate with this person who expects people to behave this way, that I'll somehow end up behaving this way
- Previously I sort of had a thought that if someone was like "Get me out of this nightmare" (but not in so many words) that the thing that needed to happen was for them to be prompted to wake up.
  - But I'm seeing more clearly now that such a response ("wake up") can reinforce the sense of nightmare, and that it thus deepens the distrust and creates more tangles.
    - The "wake up", for me at least, often comes from a perspective of
      - "we can't do anything useful while you're stuck in this"
    - And the whole stance has a kind of "this nightmare isn't real" kind of vibe. I've even done that to myself at times. And it's tempting to do, because there's a sense in which it is almost always a smaller reality than one's usual reality, so if you're just comparing size then it seems less real or not real. But it is still real and it contains information that the reality one is otherwise present to does not, and that's why it's happening and it won't fundamentally integrate until that information & reality is integrated.
      - Sarah: Oof, this lands -- "it it almost always a smaller reality than one's usual reality [...] but it is still real and it contains information"
  - Whereas a response that says "oh, I see you can't seem to wake up and be present right now. what are you needing, as you understand it?" may in many cases break the image of the nightmare because it disconfirms the nightmare's sense of "this person doesn't care about me"
    - you may not be able to u bbbbbbbnderstand or give them what they need, given whatever constraints, but you can have an orientation that continually says "you matter and your experience is real"
    - (this is not a complete answer—it's just another way to point at the generator of the NNTD, which is a fully human-complete puzzle-solving challenge)
    - Part of the point here is to completely upend the idea of "we can't do anything useful while you're stuck in this", because you can actually do something very useful, which is create a different kind of response to the stuckness and nightmare
  - In both cases here the quoted phrases are not necessarily literal utterances, but more like the basic stance of the response

January 6th, 2020

GCI content jam ideas

dream mashups