acceptance isn't the same as acceptance
- > (For those tempted to get up in arms about my use of the term “acceptance”, I don’t mean the thing you think I mean. “Acceptance,” as I’m using it, doesn’t mean “allowing things to stay the same”, it means not having a sense of “this should already be different than it in fact is”. It’s too late. The present is already here! Refusing to perform this kind of acceptance here is a form of denial or regret or some other confusion.)
5 linked references
July 19th, 2024
- something I want to write/draft... #blogpost integrity choice commitment acceptance isn't the same as acceptance
- acceptance plays very complexly with choice, commitment, and integrity
- both past choice and present choice
- provisionally, it seems to me that insofar as a commitment isn't made freely, then if it takes will to maintain and there's a real possibility of exiting it, it will
- the central example of all of this is marriage
- arranged marriage never had the illusion that you were supposed to choose in the first place. you could influence it a bit but the commitment was barely even something YOU were doing
- and if you hated your experience of being married to this person, well, too bad, many people do, and you live with it
- chosen marriage in a context where divorce is impossible except abuse...
- has
- contrast this with the very different kind of commitment that it is to have kids with someone
April 1st, 2024
- the yang to post-regret's yin — acceptance isn't the same as acceptance, the obstacle is the way, self-trust comes from respecting distrust
- In a world of karma and causality, "Changing the past" is the only thing worth striving for.
You are trapped, inexorably, on a rail-path that pulls you into the future that the past created.
You cannot make anything in the future 'better' without in some way changing the past.
The Trying-To-Be-Wise say, "You shouldn't try to change the past; you should try to accept it."
What do you think changing the past feels like, from the inside?
Once the past has truly changed, you don't *feel* it as changed; you feel it as has-always-been.
"Failure to accept the past" is merely the experience, from-the-inside, of what it means to need to change the past.
"Accepting the past" is merely the experience, from-the-inside, of having changed the past so that a better future can happen.
Podcast summaries
- Keywords - brain hemispheres McGilchrist's brain hemisphere model Perceptual Control Theory barn-raising Internal Family Systems blindspot blindspot feedback is hard (but possible!) it's only possible to be rational within a frame make shared or different frames explicit Change doesn't just happen Intend productivity Intend Philosophy & Paradigm how to think about goals PCT internal conflict much of human collaboration scales sublinearly but it's possible to scale superlinearly What are the components or dimensions required for collaborative culture? Geoffrey West Questions for teasing apart the concept of commitment commitment/choice is a confused way to relate to stances/mindsets Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings everyone is constantly overgeneralizing acceptance isn't the same as acceptance safety self-trust right hemisphere left hemisphere self-energizing
With Jonny Miller — Podcast with Jonny Miller Transcript › Outline of ideas discussed. (I'm M, Jonny is J)
- 1:17:54 - 1:35:18 - How do you wake yourself up from dream mashups? How do you interact with people projecting their dream mashups on you? Everyone is basically living in a dream mashup of their current external situation & old emotional meanings everyone is constantly overgeneralizing acceptance isn't the same as acceptance safety self-trust right hemisphere left hemisphere