narcissism
No content on this page itself — see linked references below.
4 linked references
March 18th, 2023
- I was on a workshop where someone was talking about how they help people who are coparenting with a narcissistic ex
- someone asked:
- > i’m so curious for a definition of “narcissistic” ? i ask from a place of tending towards empathy rather than judgements/labels. i’d love to be able to connect with the passion you have for this
- she responded
- > People who are in this niche know very well. My POV is empathy with discernment. Unfortunately, it is the empathy of the victims that got them stuck. That's a very delicate subject to address. I take sides with the survivors. That's my POV. Hope that makes sense.
- I commented:
- > one weird self-referential definition of narcissism that I like is "to a narcissist, everyone else feels like a narcissist", which allows you to take their perspective in a useful way, without getting caught up in their story about it
- this implies there's a sense in which their worldview might naturally generates DARVO, not as a conscious strategy but as just the embodiment of how things occur to them
- this is a specific case of a more general case of situations where empathy can mess you up
- if you naively try to take the perspective of someone whose perspective negates yours, you'll end up negating your own perspective
January 1st, 2022
- narcissistic patterns can be really weird to work with because the most overt effects are problems for other people, not for you, so it's hard to figure out how you actually want to reorganize things
- (sent to a friend)
- without, for instance, just tamping down on your own life energy, which makes the problems smaller but doesn't actually change the underlying dynamics