more speculative writing on NNTD

June 27th, 2021

• more speculative writing on NNTD (as contrasted with generalized principles that I feel very confident in)
  • August 3rd, 2020 re differences in learning trajectory for people depending on whether they've historically been more inward-blame or outward-blame
    • There's something that I feel I uniquely understand as someone who has taken a lot of responsibility for causing tangles over the last few years... I feel I understand something about how taking responsibility for creating tangles or causing pain doesn't mean blaming yourself or that others are blaming you.
      • continuing to feel like I have a perspective on this that's relatively unique among many of the people I've been involved with, and vital not just for integrating other men or power-over-history people, but also for the effective use of power in the existing system
    • I think that those who come from a more internal-blame perspective can get much further in this work without acknowledging that to the same degree…?
    • Things that could be described as not just like, inward mindset or judger mindset but like "your patterns hurt people" or "people can't trust you" which seems maybe harder to take in.
    • I'm thinking about observing people have a flinchy "I/we didn't do anything wrong" response to someone's disappointment or frustration… that didn't seem to be curious about like:
      • What was his experience?
      • What could we learn from that?
      • How can this help me see my own blindspots?
    • If "I/we didn't do anything wrong" was as obvious to you as it is within a grounded post-blame mindset, then there's no need to even assert it. The assertion of it comes from a fear that that won't be obvious—an active maintenance of a non-blame frame in opposition to a fear of blame.