March 7th, 2021
- relevant to frame battle - how the world is / seems
- This tweet is relevant to NNTD feedback loops conversations, although wouldn't necessarily phrase like this:
- > 6/ Here's two clarifications, that help me feel safe when getting feedback, that I wish I'd know earlier:
- > [1] What kind of comment is this (from least important to most) 💬?
- A) 😐 Neutral observation
- B) 😕 This hurt me, but you are not at fault (be with me, or just so you know)
- C) 😓 I need/prefer your behaviour to change in future
- D) ❌ You are coming across as a bad actor, who does not take my needs into account here.
- I think my main issue with the above is that it's still kind of in a blame frame
- I might frame them instead as
- I don't have any particular PCT Error here
- B = I'm hurting/PCT Erroring from this but it's not related to you; I just want you to listen & be with me
- B↔C = This thing you did caused some minor PCT Error in my system, but I don't think it would be useful for you to try to change to
- There is some PCT Error in my system related to this thing you did that I can't settle for. Something needs to change.
- You having done this has created a substantial drop in my trust of you as someone who would account for my needs, and we need to
- "last breath meditation" seems related to "nothing to do" meditation
- everything you're caring about doesn't matter any more because it's your last breath
- you may have to do it a few times
- M > "last few breaths"