March 8th, 2021
- I broadly think that the first few paragraphs of Reggie Ray's assessment here are remarkably accurate and clear, about the basic dynamics that happen.
- Someone develops in power
- People are attracted to that power
- The person with the power doesn't actually realize how much power they have
- I would add something like all of you, including your shadow, has access to your power which means that to the extent the person with power has drives they're not aware of and are keeping themselves from becoming aware of, those drives will use all the power the person has
- DSM fallacy = the idea that if you don't meet the conditions outlined in the DSM, you are functional; doesn't recognize that our concept of "normal" is itself a model of dysfunctional
- > But seriously if cultural evolution is so star-spangled awesome why is every Italian nonna wrong about how much water you need to cook pasta.
- > Le nonne will tell you you need a gallon per pound of pasta. Kenji says just enough to cover works fine
- > I think the explanation for grandmas being wrong is that they were using info extrapolated incorrectly from fresh pasta. Circumstances changed, a common reason for cultural knowledge to be wrong.
- re NNTD, a friend was pointing at how sometimes people acknowledge there's an issue, but in a way that kind of deflects
- I replied:
- My better template-phrasing for this, while recognizing no template is ever adequate and all can be goodharted, is like:
- > okay, glad you shared that. I don't know what it is you're seeing, just based on that level of description, that you're referring to, but I trust you're referring to something, and that unless we get mutual clarity on that we won't be able to fully trust each other.
- re NVC - thread on its shortcomings