Aella
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July 19th, 2021
- Aella has some great stuff on frame strength here - a useful different angle on frame battle / frame override
- > It's fuzzy, but I have some faint idea of a specific style of frame-strength. Some people tend to carry more gravity than others; it's often super subtle (or sometimes not), it's sometimes damaging but sometimes not - but for whatever reason, when their view of reality collides with a lower-gravity frame, theirs "wins."
- > I don't mean they win on the object level, I mean their frame 'eats' the other frame, even if the disagreement still exists, or if it's just a preference thing; a super oversimplified example if Strong-Frame Steve thinks a hat is amazing, and Weak-Frame Wendy thinks the hat sucks, then it's more likely that Wendy will come away from the interaction being like "I do think the hat sucks, but maybe my hat-suck view comes out of some deeper judgmentalness in me, I wonder why I can't see how cool the hat is?"
- > Whereas Strong Frame Steve won't have a corresponding reaction, *won't* have a subtle check to see if "have I missed how out-of-style this hat is? Is my taste real shallow?" He just.... thinks the hat is cool and moves on.
- > I'm real susceptible to it in individuals too; there've been multiple times where I felt drawn in and really trusting of charismatic strong-frame people because of their strong frame, and then when separated from them/their ideas for a while, I go "wait a damn freaking second, I trusted them because of the frame, not cause of the ideas, and I also lost touch with myself somehow in connection with them."
- [there's more to the post]
- further comments disambiguate:
- > 1. i don't think it's the same as 'frame control', though it's got lots of similarities. Strong Frame feels... maybe closer to an 'absence' of doubt, while frame-control features a lot of active or deliberate moves in a conversation. (I do think ppl who frame-control often usually have Strong Frame, though)
- > 2. I don't think it's the same thing as wanting to please someone in social power; I know several friends in high social statuses who don't have Strong Frames, even if they're largely confident and not insecure.
- > 3. I don't think it's exactly the same thing as self confidence, although it probably has a lot of overlap. I can think of many people who have a ton of self confidence, but who don't feel like they have the Strong Frame effect.
Reality is alive: don't carve it
- A quote from Aella
- like, a sense that the truth is lightly held and alive and wriggling, and to allow it to keep living instead of killing it in an attempt to understand what it's made of
- (Context)
- re: masculine/feminine, I still am not sure what exactly it is, but I think that poetry would scratch the 'missing' itch I'm feeling here
- but not just straight-up poetry, rather more... integrated poetry
- Not like "Here's a copypaste of something I wrote or a poem I like", but instead fused with the words people use to talk about things and tease things out
- light-touch-play-delight, like a game