levels or kinds of reconciliation
- meta
- you don't have to go through the lower levels to get to the higher ones - these aren't steps
- in fact, while they can be steps, it's pretty common for something to kind of settle at whatever level it first hits substantially
- the higher levels are more satisfying
- & getting to them requires some substantial amount of coherence empathy & perspective-taking
- the list
- reconciliation 0 - begrudged space/distance
- reconciliation 1 - mutually-appreciated space/distance
- reconciliation 2 - flat apology/forgiveness
- reconciliation 3 - empathic apology/forgiveness
- reconciliation 4 - I can see how you could have done that
- reconciliation 5 - I can see how you couldn't have done anything else
- reconciliation 6 - I can see how anybody would have done that
- originally articulated in a MalSarGeoJe conversation 2020-01-26ish