tracing how Mark Lippmann influenced NNTD
- (it's hard to separate original influences from other resonances that may have been more in the background)
2 linked references
September 4th, 2021
- some resonance with this and the obstacle is the way
- > It can be really discouraging when progress seems state dependent (“if only I were in that other state!“), but taking correct actions, as best one can, in any state, is the thing that metabolizes, over a long time, whatever state one happens to be in (and part of that is fully accepting being in the state, if/eventually/when it’s safe to do so).
Like, the state IS the very stuff of practice, not a thing in the background that conditions practice.
September 2nd, 2021
- something about the layering model
- which has a lot of implications for interpersonal stuff and is part of why and how blindspot feedback is hard (but possible!)
- something about losslessness, which doesn't mean perfect memory but there's something about how if you're dealing with an issue in the present, then there's necessarily enough (and the right) data present to satisfyingly untangle it (given enough time and attention)
- which has been impressively borne out in my experience on interpersonal stuff
- something like "if you know something, you necessarily know why you know it"
- > There’s a few broad failure modes that can happen when seeking this ok-ness (if you decide to do so, and it’s ok if you do or don’t, or start and stop, or take a break and pick it up again, later. In no way is it separate from "normal ok-ness.").
- this feels like it's embodying something like sometimes things need to be said even though they feel like they really really should go without saying
- and in particular, there's a tone of reassurance here that is uncommon
- it could easily read as passive-aggressive or neurotic, and I'm not even 100% sure it isn't, but it's still a very different stance than the defensiveness = protectiveness anti-reassurance one that I sometimes held prior to discovering the NNTD