Psychotechnologies Live podcast
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October 3rd, 2022
- conviction vs confusion, as states
- NVC > everyone’s a hero of their own story
- trust => safe to not think about
- (vs “worry about”)
- “I can’t treat this as true without forgetting something”
- “I can let this out of my awareness without experiencing threat”
- (huh, with wifi, you’d have a different threshold for trusting that it was now solid if you were about to have a really important conversation. which points at how trusting that if the thing you’re trusting DID fall through, it wouldn’t be too disastrous. that’s also required to relax)
- (cf handledness, for sure)
- “I don’t trust” vs “I can’t trust”
- “can’t” implies “I want to but I’m unable”
- “don’t” could be more willful or something
- link to What Is Mindfulness?
- “humans are beings that mean”
- semantics is gesticulating into vast fields
- The Action Inquiry
- E > why did I not interrupt Malcolm earlier?
- M > from the part that wanted to speak, how’d you feel about the don’t-interrupt part?
- E > “I am so valuable that you should say it right now”
- E > I tolerate that guy… we’re on the same terms, but he did cut me off
- M > from the don’t-interrupt part… what is it exactly that you don’t trust?
- E > there’s a quality of early excitability - little-kid-like - not a sustained level of follow-through - initial idea comes like that
- but when I actually sat in the part’s perspective, I realized that the wanted-to-speak part is a lot more mature than I thought
- there’s a secure, sustained level of investment in that part’s ideas
- “I don’t trust that part to come up with new ideas and sustain them”
- “I don’t trust that that part isn’t just flittering from idea to idea”
- but even
- M > so then I’ll invite the want-to-speak part to say “I respect that you can’t trust X”
- E > want-to-speak part feels like majority
- so I don’t want to say “it’s okay for you not to trust me”
- & I don’t think it’s a better thing to have been blocked
- M > invite: “I can’t trust that if it’s okay for you to not trust me that you won’t just interrupt me more”
- E > this part (the spark) is less aware of Malcolm than other part - spark of all goodness is more self-referent - in less of a relational frame
- this part thinks it would have been better to interrupt Malcolm
- “I have to not trust”
- “I have to remain hypervigilant”
- M > going back: try “[I have to block you because] I can’t trust that you’re tracking social cues”
- M > try “what would I have to do to earn your trust?”
- E > I think the baseball cap doesn’t really know
- M > or “what would I have to do for you to trust me more?”
- E > nope, sorta feels like baseball cap is just forever vigilant
- E > protector… job is to protect from [bad… awkwardness… shame, social failure]
- Living Practice — to teach NVC, you have to do it in a nonviolent way
- IFS - work is done between you & part, vs Gestalt work is done on rship between me & you