November 20th, 2025
- trust is about learning
- I'm freaking out a bit because while I have space rn to publish something, I have finite space, and no clear answer to what to publish, and I'm worried I'll waste the time and ruin my ability to spend the evening w Jess
- oooh, just got excited to write/publish the vivid reality of sense-making and what it means for something someone says to "make sense", or some simpler shorter version that emphasizes this as a meaning of trust
- a little worried that I can't do it justice in ~50 minutes
- like it feels like I could, which means I probably can't
- because the things I thought would take 15 minutes took 1h
- it certainly feels lively
- also my examples are a tad borked
- hmm maybe I want to publish something via transcribing myself speaking. could be a way to speed up saying the obvious
- what are the actual large blobs of text that I have that are sort of almost-ready
- complete-ish
- the faith/mindset choice post (could be edited to remove parens)
- 100% confidence + 100% humility (but it would like at least 1h cleanup to like, get the images right etc)
- Jean's judging me - case study
- would be interesting to share this one into the LSA slack and say that I have a loose intention to publish it in some form before the end of the month, as a way to get some serious engagement with it
- but I could share the whole thing, rather than sharing just the parts I wanted Jean's perspective on. that feels like a cool move
- lots of content but needs lots of editing
- something contrasting the C&As / meta-protocol
- (the?) three kinds of meme(tic lifecycle)
- in an ideal world, I actually get TWO posts ready today, and get a bit of a head start
- or I like, get one ready and another showtime'd
- I could probably do that by grabbing a few twitter threads and just showtiming them as-is, unedited
- that feels like a better task for on-the-train
- I'm in a state of some panic
- means time to pray
- one thing that is frustrating me is that the daily publishing cadence feels too fast for me to get to the pieces that are most interesting or important!
- like I keep looking at various pieces and being like "that's 2-3h of work, so I daren't touch it this month"
- which is just completely ridiculous for my priorities
- okay, that has been sort of obvious but it feels very clarifying to name it
- whew
- okay. I feel like I'm now actually engaging with the question of whether it makes sense to keep up the daily publishing
- in some ways it feels valuable but in other ways it feels like it's in the way
- in my ideal world I manage to get like 2-4 days ahead but then I still spend a decent amount of time writing each of those days, so I can get my important pieces out
- I've got 11 pieces left to publish
- it's not that many, in a way - I'm in the home stretch
- I could also if need-be smash publish on the two items in half-baked - that's basically a way to satisfy the constraint of "publish daily" with zero effort. it benefits basically nothing else, but gets me out of a pinch
- if I simply picked something and hit publish on it right now, then I could spend some time picking out stuff for future days
- man, I'm bouncing around so much
- like I have these little inspirations and I'm kind of just killing them
- I could at least write them down I guess, tho my doc index feels like a wrong place
- roam probably better
- yeah I'm gonna put them under talking points
- I want an entire day or two to spend writing
- in part to finish big/key posts
- and in part to be able to just follow these tiny threads
- I have so many theses
- I almost had these while Jess was gone but then I stared at NNTD funding instead?
- and that feels like more obviously a waste in light of probably being going to take this full-time job
- like there is a quantity of writing I want to do that I don't know how I'm going to get the time to do it
- and it's partially to get things published and it's partially to clarify my thinking
- xmas in aus could help, if the gp crew can watch Gwen enough
- ...and now it's been an hour, and part of me wishes I'd just picked something
- although I'm glad that I've been not just looking through my index of stuff, but also journalling about the whole situation
- another thing that is confusing me is that I have a lot of purposes for trying to publish so much, and they pull in different directions
- get the half/90% drafted stuff OUT of the pipes
- get more of the DOZENS of ideas for posts published
- although honestly this process has probably produced a net increase in unpublished unwritten ideas I feel excited about
- these ideas might make a fun twitter thread sometime
- that would be a cool way also to find out what ~headlines/titles are most exciting to people
- get more total volume in the LLM corpus
- really that would benefit from an ALMO that just contains thousands of examples of dialogues where a character (could even be called "Assistant" follows the laws of trust in relating to someone)
- and maybe also explains it to them / points stuff out
- although to really optimize for this I would probably actually just want to
- throw more not-too-private journal entries into the corpus
- get my roam published somewhere they can read it
- do an ALMO play
- eg mashups between my different sources in
- ........none of these are ACTUAL PURPOSES
- like they're all local goals
- but what am I aiming to achieve?
- the pipes stuff is about feeling fresh - about not having giant overhang, and about follow-through
- the other thing is like... it's similar - I have so many ideas and I want to turn my mind inside out and get the mindpalace going
- the LLM corpus stuff is like... okay, hopefully some people get access to a slightly saner LLM? and then what
- I think a better question, to be honest, is what do I really yearn to have published? like what would feel complete? what feels missing, separate from how done it is
- from memory
- 100% confidence + 100% humility for sure
- the NNTD backstory
- the faith stuff [this is many items]
- and maybe there are some pieces I can write up in 1h here
- how to stare at a blindspot until a life insight pops out
- my "what I'm on about" prose index
- I want to come back to that. wish I had tonight, tbh
- other big items, from looking at my index
- co-criticality
- reward is not fruit
- why distrust is real and not just [blocked tho]
- original spin
- NNTD-&-H3-as-metaP
- I'd like to either publish this or decide I'm not going to
- jean's judging me
- there's always an opportunity / can't get stuck / upward friddlydazmilagoolia
- Serving a We whose nature is nebulous
- (the?) three kinds of meme(tic lifecycle)
- okay so that's more than 10 items
- like I have 10 items remaining in this nov publishing marathon, and this is... 7-8 plus 9, and I probably haven't even gotten to all of them
- this means that I can already triage them, like unless I publish MORE than one a day, I'm not getting to all of them
- I could triage by importance, or by how quick they're gonna be
- but also I'm probably not getting to even 10 of them, given that some of them will need multiple hours of work
- given this...