It's not my fault
- tapping defensiveness as a pathway to universal post-blame
- Notes from Oct 5 NEDERA
- a message to a group
- was NEDERing yesterday and found a part that was just like "It's not my fault"
- and I realized that basically this part is completely right in one sense (because I think blame is an outdated model, like geocentrism) but that its perspective would bifurcate between a geocentric model in which "it's not my fault" would imply it's someone else's model, and a post-blame one where it's nobody's fault.
- found myself realizing that a lot of my blaming other people came from this part, that doesn't actively want to blame other people, it's just really insistent that I not be blamed, and as long as it knows that I'm not going to let that happen, it's fine with not blaming other people either. Something something scarcity abundance.
- Anyway, started working on a song that's got a verse that's like "it's not my fault" (repeated 4×) and "it's not your fault" and "it's not his/her/their fault" and so on.
- Feeling like hearing/singing that has the potential to be quite cathartic for many people, because I think probably like half of people at least have a similar little voice that would resonate so hard with that.
- a message to the person I'd been talking with before the NEDERA
- whew, didn't do a lot of crying but got a really important piece of clarity
- the fighty part in me is 100% right about something and refuses to compromise on that something, which is: it's not my fault.
- so when its worldview feels (for whatever host of reasons) like "it must be somebody's fault", it projects blame outwards onto others
- I suspect that basically everybody (or at least everybody who has a tendency towards outward blame rather than inward blame) has a part like this
- and that working with that part is a huge leverage point towards creating H3/Gen3/Game B
- although there's likely a bootstrapping thing where like, someone might need to have a bunch of uncommon experiences in order to be able to conceive of a blameless world