How does the anti-victim stance of NNTD vibe with the anti-victim stance of eg Perri Chase's work?

some subtle stuff here. I basically agree about the "it's not the case that insults make one feel self-worthless" but there's relevant details being swept aside here, that you probably don't disagree with but I think that acknowledging them here in some form will create better coherence empathy for the parts of people that might say "but it's not all about my interpretation!"

are they insulting you in front of other people? if so, that has consequences that are not affected by your interpretation, for instance:

and of course, perhaps:

in the extreme case, not that I think this is common in today's world, someone insulting you could lead to you being physically attacked. "them's fighting words".

in which case–insofar as your sense of worth is not just a value you set to 100% because you've done a ton of jhanas and you can just do that, but actually a measure of how much you are liked and valued and appreciated—your self-worth is in fact dropping in expectation in response to this insult.

whether or not (and importantly, if so, how) you stand up for yourself ALSO has real consequences—it affects the kind of culture you live in, whether:

- FROM one where people disrespect each other when they can get away with it TO one where that isn't tolerated and we call people out on it

- FROM one where people make fun of each other but that's chill we're all buds yay countersignalling TO one where we're tense and uptight and can't take a joke

(which of these stories fits better, of course, depends on both the details of the situation and the interpretation—people could disagree. and people might want to live in different cultures, and confronting these questions together is part of how that happens.)

my sense is that you are going to get to a bunch of this maybe?