blame
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3 linked references
March 4th, 2025
- some new articulations of this
- notably, the "I can't just convey this simple thing because this person keeps taking it personally and making it infinitely big or infinitely small" thing turns out to approximately have "blame" as its cause
- and then you can also use the classic we-fi example as a case study of a situation where people are pretty good at sorting out the connection issues without blame, but out can sort of demo where blame would make them stupider
- then there was a new example of a couple fighting, and mutually triggering each other, and getting into the complex dance of "well we wouldn't have this disconnection if you didn't do X" "well I wouldn't need to do X if you didn't Y" and my interlocutor tonight was like "well someone has to choose to do something different"
- in some ways this becomes a different topic there, but in other ways it's the same, because there's a core question of: does your view include the idea that everything that everybody's doing made sense at the time / in context everyone is always doing whatever makes the most sense to them
November 11th, 2024
- "I don't think it's kind to say that babies dial up because of mothers' stress"
May 30th, 2024
- cool lil case study of... what do I want to tag this with. a very simple form of reconciliation, for one. two people get in a car accident, decades later he finds her to apologizing for breaking her spine but turns out it was chill and also she had blamed herself for the accident. oh right! also a great case study in blame, post-blame whose job is this?