September 21st, 2023
- this on Dewey's Inquiry article, tagging @m_ashcroft
- on mating dance theory
- some difference between transparent/collaborative mating dances and obfuscated/coercive mating dances
- an example of a dishonest mating dance:
- like the classic tho idk how common pregnancy => so you have to stay "baby-trap"
- (which goes in both directions, men/women)
- (this can be conscious or unconscious)
- I really don't feel confident what's going on for these people, but I could imagine it's some sort of sense of being unworthy of the relationship one would want to have, and/or desperation to secure this relationship
- (plus a usually-misguided belief that having a kid will in any way help with that)
- a weirder one is something like using the relationship with someone to prove something
- eg "prove that I can commit"
- but also any dynamic where one partner keeps going even though they don't trust that the other isn't kind of tricking them mating-dance-wise
- even if there isn't an intended trick