I have a strong suspicion that what's going on here is that people have a mating dance order, and going out of order will fuck you up
and for many (but not all) people, their mating dance wants to read physicality as one of the very first steps
and in person, this just HAPPENS
and the guy doesn't need 6' of physical stature, but he needs enough presence etc
and if she builds up a sense of who he is, and then he turns out to be shorter than she anticipated, this feeling of disappointment is hard to recover from, hence trying to solve that in advance
but fixating on height is a mediocre proxy for what she actually cares about, leading to guys being frustrated
I think the solution to this specific thing would be:
some decent algos do initial sorting of people based on interests etc
a friend of the dating-woman vets the guy for conversational vibe, non-creepiness, etc
and then literally their first interaction IS meeting in person for date 1
that would let the mating dance proceed in roughly the right order
