Malcolm Ocean's roamblog

NNTD as a framework mostly takes for granted that people are trying to tell the truth; if not, you have a different kind of problem

created 2022-08-21 · edited 2022-08-21 · open in Roam
  • that's not to say that it's vulnerable to people lying, just that it doesn't have anything in particular in its toolkit for navigating such a situation
    • NNTD suggests backing out to the point where you can get common-ground, and if someone is regularly lying or bullshitting it's going to be very hard to find common-ground of any kind, so you might end up just backing pretty far out of the relationship
  • the main thing that NNTD would say is that if you find yourself in a situation where you can't trust that someone isn't flat-out lying to you
    • then step one is to honor internally that you're having that perception
      • like "okay, part of me legit thinks that Bob is making up shit here. I can't take for granted that he's not. okay, that's where I'm at."
    • and if the situation affords it, you might reveal that you have that distrust
    • and if the situation doesn't afford that space or can't respect that you have that distrust, then probably you want to get out if you can