February 1st, 2024
- #2tweet in everybody's life, you have to putting up with some bullshit & obligations when you're born & growing up. then there's a question of how much more life manages to trick you into putting up with, before you throw them off. some, ofc, never escape
- in everybody's life, you have to putting up with some bullshit & obligations when you're born & growing up. then there's a question of how much more life manages to trick you into putting up with, before you throw them off. some, ofc, never escape
- I haven't found the right generalization there but there's a juicy thought. this is related to how rationalism, LRC, etc, got hooked into me
- NO!!! It's not about the ideas, it's about the RELATIONSHIPS
- "putting up with" is a key phrase here
- Jess says this relates a bunch to what Schnarch says about hugging til relaxed
- where people realize that there was tension they'd been taking for granted
- relates to something Jess said about... how you have to learn a bunch of skills for climbing out of downward spirals, but then once you're out you can just do upward spirals and it's obvious
- (not well-phrased. I have a recording of this convo)
- insurance policy on the relationship, that hopefully you don't need much because you get in a thing that's like default-good
- #2tweet "succeeding at asking" is when you have communicated to someone (eg a partner) that there is something you want, and they have recognized the existence of that something, and communicated to you a degree of knowing what it is that you can trust (even if that degree is zero)
- "succeeding at asking" is when you have communicated to someone (eg a partner) that there is something you want, and they have recognized the existence of that something, and communicated to you a degree of knowing what it is that you can trust (even if that degree is zero)
- if you are in a relationship (romantic, business, spiritual, roommate, whatever) and there's something important that you want, that you are having trouble even succeeding at ASKING for, you're in for porbelms unless you can sort it out
- I recommend elephant template
- #2tweet in romance (but also everywhere)
all of your preferences are relevant, no matter how inconvenient
there is no "don't have your preferences"
there's only pretending
(and "sometimes my feelings/preferences evolve")
(and "sometimes my feelings/preferences aren't what I thought they were")
but this comes as an amusing insight (even if again also inconvenient) not a horrifying doomy thing
if it feels doomy then the opposite is happening (you're overriding your preferences with what you think your preference should be)- in romance (but also everywhere)
all of your preferences are relevant, no matter how inconvenient
there is no "don't have your preferences"
there's only pretending
(and "sometimes my feelings/preferences evolve")
(and "sometimes my feelings/preferences aren't what I thought they were")
but this comes as an amusing insight (even if again also inconvenient) not a horrifying doomy thing
if it feels doomy then the opposite is happening (you're overriding your preferences with what you think your preference should be)