friend > Another note: coercion can be subjective???
me > Are you pointing here to how like two people in a given situation might experience it one as coercive and the other as not? Yeah what I would say to that is essentially all coercion is like... It's possible to get in a space in your own mind where no matter what happens externally you sort of fundamentally can't be coerced like you are always doing what you in fact want given the external constraints rather than being kind of subject to whatever power dynamics are happening.
me > And there's an extreme version of that (enlightenment lol?) but it can also show up in more specific situational ways where one person might sort of be like well this is just a thing I'm just going to do this I'm going to surrender to the fact that this person currently has power over me and like deal with it until we're free.
friend > Also like, if someone identifies you as having something they really need or want, and can't see how to get it without you, they may experience you as coercive