100% co-response-ability
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July 29th, 2024
- > When Alice harms Bob, it is likely that one of the following three things went wrong:
- > Model: Alice’s mental picture of what Bob would want, or of what is going on in the situation (which we’ll call her model), was incorrect and led her to behave in ways that caused Bob harm. If she’d had a better model, she would have acted differently, resulting in a better outcome for Bob.
- > Care prioritization: Alice prioritized something else—herself, another person, some abstract value—over Bob. Even if she cares a lot about Bob’s happiness, other factors outweighed her care for him in this situation.
- > Execution: Alice knew what Bob would want and cared enough about him, but failed to execute on bringing about the best Bob-outcome. Her execution failure could be the result of physical limitations, impulsivity, depression, structural barriers, or any of a number of other constraints.
- > Often, the problem is a combination of two or even all three of these: if I had taken the time to think a little about what you would want (a care problem), I would not have made the mistake I made (a model problem) or would have made a plan that actually worked (an execution problem).