> > Stages of Emotional Liberation:
1. We believe we are responsible for the feelings of others (keep everyone happy)
2. We no longer want to be responsible for the feelings of others (anger at our own unmet needs)
3. We take responsibility for our actions, respond to the needs of others out of compassion
> This handy little pocket card will indeed “liberate” you from any and all relationships. The connection to the universal acid of leftism is obvious. This ideology is so deadly that not only does it attack the family, here you see it attacking the entire idea of love. Marriage is just another domino that needs to fall on the way to making it impossible to even have boyfriends and girlfriends.
This is a manual for treating love like friendship. Indeed you are not responsible for the feelings of your friends—when your friends get weird, or you perceive them as getting weird, it’s completely normal and healthy to just disengage from them a bit. Or if they have “needs,” you may “respond” to them out of “compassion”—for the same reason you’d give a bum a five-dollar bill.
> I don't want anyone to respond to my need not to be kicked out of their compassion. Like, you've kicked me in the head three times—now you're not going to kick me again, out of compassion? For my “unmet need” to not be kicked?
I need to know that you understand that it hurts that you kicked me, that you feel bad about having kicked me, and hear that you get it and will at least try not to kick me again. None of this has anything to do with WHY you kicked me—even if it was just by accident.
> Like I said in the post, the next stage after basic consideration is shared perspective. The NVC dogma is that if I know how you feel (or say you feel), and you know how I feel (or say I feel), everything is fine.