December 1st, 2022
- frame control occurs whenever:
- 1. two people have very different and apparently incommensurate worldviews, due to different histories (usually some mix of traumatic experiences or having thought about stuff others haven't)
- 2. those people are in a situation where at least one of them needs/wants something from the other, ie there's some meaningful power differential
- 3. they don't have the knowledge, skills, emotional slack, or motivation to proactively make space for each others' experience/frame being different and theoretically-commensurable even if it's not known how to make them meet
- both when speaking, and when listening
- and in such a situation, the mere attempt to communicate at all results in a frame battle/struggle
- within which, frame control happens via power differentials, where the more powerful exerts pressure on the less powerful to match frame. this can be happening in multiple dimensions at the same time, in different directions (eg one person has more money than the other, but is also in love with or attracted to the other and terrified of being rejected). charisma and wisdom and intelligence can also add to (or perhaps multiply) someone's power here.