August 23rd, 2021
- I can probably make a bolder statement there but that's a start for a handle
- a friend wrote
- > I think one of my approaches to noticing that there are healthier dynamics preferable to the one I'm in is to just go "oh, I'll simply do the good thing!" And I guess that only works so long
- I replied
- > It's worth trying as long as you don't get attached to it!
- > But then imx whatever parts you're blocking in order to generate the healthier interpersonal dynamics, don't necessarily update because they're not around to see it working and dialogue their own concerns with it
- > an analogy I use here is "if you have 2 groups of people, that aren't mutually trusting/friendly, and in particular one person in Group A is thinks Group B hates them, then if Group B invites Group A to a party, and the hostile/scared person doesn't go, they can--reasonably!--conclude something like "well, Group B might not hate the rest of Group A, but they still hate me and it would have been a bad time if I had gone to the party"
- great thread that talks a bit about part differentiation
- particularly this bit:
- > Step 5 - Remind you that this is 1 part of me, not all I feel for you. Ask you to take care of yourself. Clarify why I want to do this (explore/connect) & what I know about how I'd like you to listen to me: mirroring? sounds? questions? impact? silence?